Vows Spoken Kept or Broken
by redroses123
Summary: Ashara promised her princess to keep her only son safe but it is hard to be a Targaryen after Roberts rebellion. Eddard promised his sister he would protect her only son. Can these old flames find a way to keep both of Rhaegar's sons safe? Or will old feelings get in the way of their vows. Will having Ashara Dayne around get in the way of Ned's marriage vows? M for maturity.
1. A Maiden Who Doesn't Laugh Anymore

** Ok so this is my first Fire and Ice story, I have plenty of Game of thrones stories that I have been ignoring while I worked on this. So I am not sure why I am so nervous to put this up but I AM. So please be kind! That being said I adore comments they are usually what keep me going on a story and I do not mind constructive criticisms at all infact I enjoy it, but rude comments telling me how much you hate the story, well I urge you to just stop reading it instead. Maybe it's the teacher in me but if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all.**

**My beta is voodoomarie she is amazing and I adore her! I owe this girl so much she seriously rocks!**

**I have always wanted to do a story about these two and I always want Elia's kids (If not Elia herself) to survive and I thought this was an interesting way to do that! I am going ahead and putting this in the M category for future chapters. I am not a hundred percent sure about this story so please let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it!**

** Ashara Dayne**

My brother made a vow to serve his king and that is what lead him to the madness we were in now. Rhaegar had disgraced our princess and the best woman I knew yet Arthur's vow compelled him to stay with Rhaegar. I had never been as noble and honorable as my brother Ser Arthur Dayne the sword of the morning, but I had spoken my own vow.

Elia Martell was my princess, she was not the most beautiful woman in the world, she had much better qualities like compassion, grace, intelligence and goodness. I was with her when Aerys locked her and her children in the red keep like hostages. She showed all her skills when she sent her ladies home, but I did not want to leave her, she was surrounded by enemies in Kingslanding. I was only 16 and one of the youngest members of her household, but I would not leave her.

Our days were filled with guards spying on us for Aerys, handmaiden's spying on us for Rhaella, and servants spying on us for Varys.

We would busy ourselves with playing with the children and sewing all the while my thoughts were centered on the child in my stomach. I would make the moon tea, but never could I bring it to my lips. I couldn't kill my baby, I tried to tell myself it was mercy not to bring a bastard into this world but I could not because she was mine. I knew exactly who the baby belonged to, me. As for my child's sire I knew that too, but the truth did not keep me from longing for a different man, a man I knew better then to long for, a rebel who would soon be a dead rebel when the might of Dorne came to defend their princess which I knew they would, it was on its way this very moment.

"Ashara." Elia said snapping me out of my thoughts as I was sewing with Rhaenys on my lap.

"Yes princess?" I asked she had a distant look on her face. As I looked at her, I could never understand what Rhaegar could want for, she had beautiful olive skin dark hair, black almond shaped eyes. She was rather bone thin because of her poor health but she was still very regal and prove fertile as a flower she gave him a child every year of their marriage aside from now that he was gone. I half thought she had given him a child every time he laid with her it was a rare enough event on Dragonstone, yet she was still the ever-loyal loving wife.

"Why don't you stay here tonight, I hate the idea of you going back late to your room in this cold castle." She told me, there was something in her black eyes as she asked it but she only held my gaze a moment before going back to her embroidery.

"Yes princess." I said simply and then we talked about unimportant gossip for all their ears even the boy who brought in firewood looked at us on occasion as if intently listening.

"What are you making?" Princess Rhaenys asked softly she was a dear child.

"A puppy princess." I said quickly before throwing the bit of fabric into the fire as prying eyes tried to see before it burned. "But not a very good one I'm afraid."

It wasn't until Elia ordered them to leave us for the night and we put the children to bed in a joining room before our handmaidens helped us into our nightgowns and then I helped Elia take off her many jewels and stored them safely away.

We got into bed and I blew out the candle and only under the covers did Elia say her peace.

"Can I trust you Ashara?"

"Absolutely." I promised.

"Varys says the days to come are dark." Elia admitted.

"But Lewyn took the Dornish Army, they will destroy the rebels." I said although the idea turned by stomach.

"Hopefully, but Varys says we have under estimated Robert at every turn, soon he will bring me decoys and he wants to take my children to safety, I do not trust Varys though. I trust you Ashara." Elia said even in the dark I knew she watched and waited for my reaction.

"I will do whatever you ask of me princess I swear it."

"I know, you are a good girl." Elia said sweetly.

"No I'm not." I muttered.

"Ashara?" Elia asked softly. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm pregnant." I admitted I was waiting for her to get angry at me for behaving in such a manner but instead she embraced me kissing my head.

"You poor child you must be so worried, but all will be well. You will care for my children and I will make sure yours is cared for all it's days." Elia promised she was free of hate or judgement she was just good. I found myself not for the first time going to sleep wishing I was Elia Martell and telling myself everything would be fine.

In a months time, Rhaegar died on the Trident, I began have our things packed for Dragonstone. My condition would be hard to conceal soon and I was grateful to be leaving court.

"We aren't going to Dragonstone, stop packing." Elia said as she burst in.

I looked at her confused.

"Aerys thinks the Dornish betrayed him, you need to leave now before it is too late." Elia warned.

I would always remember her how she looked with her black eyes and olive colored skin, she would never let them stop her from being a proud Dornish woman. I would always remember how she felt, as she took me into her arms. "I am going to ask more of you then anyone in the world." She told me quietly. "But I am going to ask you anyway." She said softly.

I nodded. I already knew what she would ask I had already been her accomplice thus far.

She looked out the window unable to meet my eyes unable to keep the proud Dornish look when she said his name. "Rhaegar did not leave us any protection, not from Robert not even from his father." She admitted out loud for the first time though I knew it was all she thought about.

"You want me to take them to Sunspear?"

"Only one." Elia promised. "You will leave now with…with my son" Elia said softly, two opportunities to get her children out safely.

"What about Rhaenys?" I asked.

"It's best you don't know in case you get…." Elia choked the idea of us getting caught had tears down her face.

"They will think it is odd I am leaving you. Running away in the middle of the night no less." I told the older woman, they may think of me as just another silly pretty girl but my devotion to Elia was true I would die for her.

"They won't." She promised she touched my stomach, my growing stomach. "They would expect you to go home. If you were expect, I now it is a lot to ask of you to admit your state but I would not ask if it were not dire." Elia told me.

"They will expect me to crawl home in shame." I realized but I shook my head, dark curls moving furiously around me. "I am not ashamed of myself or my baby." I told her honestly and she gave me a soft smile I had not seen in a while.

"Neither am I Lady Ashara I promise you that." She said she took my hands. "I am only asking this of you because I need your help." Elia admitted.

She pressed our joined hands to her chest. "Promise me Ashara, promise me you will protect my boy like he was your own."

"You trust me with your son?" I asked the little prince was far more important then any jewels or land, a royal woman had nothing more precious then her son ad heir.

"I do." She said and even though she meant it I knew she had little choice in the matter. After the war she could come to Dorne and retrieve her children nobody had to be the wiser.

"I promise you I will protect Aegon with my life." I swore.

"Promise you will be a mother to him." Elia said her voice thick with pain, my eyes flickered to hers to see tears down her brown skin.

"I promise I will be a mother to him, until I place him back into your arms." I vowed and like that she went and grabbed the most precious thing she had and put him in my arms. We stabbed holes in my trunk to sneak him out of the castle it was a good thing Aegon rarely cried, why would he? He was born a beautiful prince with a loving mother in line for the throne.

As soon as we were out of the city, I grabbed him. There was a little cap placed on his head to hide his hair, my guards and servants may have put the truth together, but they knew they were to say the baby was Lara Blackmont's baby brother who she wanted raised at Starfall as to not be a threat to Lara being the heir.

It was not until we were back in Dorne that I had heard the news, Aegon would never be back in his mothers' arms, I would never see my beloved friend again. Elia and the decoy children were dead and as I was told this I felt a horrible pain in my stomach. My large stomach at that point I was screaming as they took me into the in I watched Aegon be carried in behind me.

"Auntie auntie!" Aegon cried worried.

"It's alright Aegon!" I gritted my teeth to make words to try not to scare him.

"When this is all over we will have a new baby!" I told him as calmly as I could muster but I cried out again in pain.

When it was all over we did not have a new baby. I had a stillborn, I had been right though it was the girl I had always wanted but she was blue and lifeless and I cried at her loss, I thought I could lose no more tears.

We stayed at the inn for the next few days while I regained the strength to travel. Aegon laid in my arms as I slept but I woke to the sound of foots coming through the halls I heard my guards yelling.

"You may not enter! Have you know honor! A nobleborn girl sleeps in there!" One yelled.

"We know." A think accent told. "We've come for her." The voice said and a fight began. I pulled Aegon out of bed as I looked for a way out but that was the only door I pulled him to the little window when they burst into the room 6 men.

I held Aegon to my hip, holding onto him for dear life he let out a low wine as a short odd man came near us I looked for something to defend us with.

"It is not her." The man declared to the others.

"But she sure is pretty Reed." Another man said. "Such beauty need not be wasted." The man continued and I saw him lick his lips.

"Stay away from us!" I demanded he only laughed.

"We are not animals!" A man farther back declared he had a soft voice. "I do not want anything to happen to this woman!" He demanded.

"Nothing will happen to this woman that is an order!" I heard and I knew that voice immediately before he pushed aside his men.

"Lady Ashara?" Ned said he was just as surprised to see me which was odd because I was from Dorne he was the outsider not me, this desert was my home. It always tickled me how Ned said my name. Even now.

I was so happy to see him I could have dried, Ned was a man of the utmost honor he would not let us come to any harm's way.

"Ned thank the gods you're here." I said jumping into his arms I didn't realize I was trembling until I was in his strong arms. "They were they were going to-" I almost cried he held me for a moment to comfort me.

"Nobody is going to hurt you, I will not anyone hurt you." He promised but I realized how tense he was to my touch, then I remembered. He was married to some Tully girl for an alliance. When I found out I had let myself...well I had gotten myself pregnant hadn't I?

I noticed the short man had herded the rest of them out of the room so we could have a moment alone.

I pulled back from him deciding not to be any more of a burden.

His eyes followed my stomach it was not flat as it had once been at Harrenhall my belly still hung freely in my nightgown showing the bump that remained there.

"Are you-"

"I am not having a baby." I told him softly it was true he hadn't asked if I had just had a baby after all.

He just nodded I saw him look at little Aegon his cap must've fallen off in his sleep.

"Will you return me safely to Starfall?" I asked softly making those grey eyes snap back to me he nodded.

"Of course, and I will take the boy safely into Roberts custody." Eddard said his since of duty intact.

"What is safe about that?!" I asked.

"I cannot let him get to his uncles so they start another war and the streets again will be filled with the dead." Eddard said simply. There was sympathy in his voice but he thought this was the lesser of two evils.

"He won't hurt the boy." Eddard assured himself more than me.

"He let the Lannisters go free." I told him.

"I had no part of that!" Eddard reminded.

"HE LET HER MURDERERS GO FREE!" I cried.

Eddard just gave me a soft look. "I will make sure you get home." He said softly turning to leave.

I put Aegon down following him and pulling him to face me and getting down on my knees in my nightgown.

"Please Ned, don't do this! I promised I would raise her son should anything happen to her I won't leave him!" I cried.

Eddard was silent but he helped me to my feet. "Go to sleep Asha, we ride in the morning." He told me softly.

"Eddard don't leave!" I asked him and he looked at me with the saddest look in his grey eyes. "I am married now Asha." He said softly.

I gave him a furious look. He was going to hand over a boy I loved, the last living part of Elia, to Robert Baratheon, the boy I swore to keep safe. I was angry for it and the last thing I wanted was a night of passion. "I am not asking you to share my bed nor would I allow you to under present circumstance. But that man of yours disgust me and I think we would be safer with you here." I told him.

He nodded he took the chair from by the fire and pushed it over to the door. I gathered up little Aegon and took him back to bed. Still in the dark of the night I could hear Eddard's breath and for some odd reason it comforted me as much as I wished it did not.

It brought back thought of Harrenhal,we had met the first night after all.

_The greatest tournament had yet to be gone but you would not know it by the excitement of the feast in the hall of a thousand hearths, their was dancing and laughter and fools dressed in costumes. I was laughing with Oberyn and Jon Connington when Lord Brandon walked up to me tapping on my shoulder, I turned to see him, he towered uncomfortably over me but I looked at him with a questioning gaze._

_"Apologize my lady for interrupting, but you see my brother has been starring at you all night. He swears you're the most beautiful woman he has ever seen." Brandon said with a toothy grin, this wolf seemed to have a silver tongue._

_"Which one is your brother my lord?" I asked decidedly and he turned back to his table. "Do you see the one there who just turned white as a ghost? His name is Ned." Brandon told me. It was true when we turned to him at once his skin paled and his eyes widened. It was those grey eyes that sent waves crashing through the core of my body. He nervously brushed back his shaggy brown hair, but his eyes never broke mine and I smiled._

_The music started a new dance and I nodded to this Ned, assuming the white faced boy wouldn't dare move from his seat. To his credit he got up and came towards me._

_"Would you like to dance Ned?" I asked. He nodded and we began to dance. Brandon seemed happy with himself and quickly found a girl to dance with. I was wondering if he would say a word out of all the men I had danced with only three others stuck out and they had all been very different men but they had all talked to me._

_"So Eddard….your brother tells me you think I'm a great beauty?" I asked I was just starting to enjoy the attentions of men and I thought the shy northern lord was not giving me enough of it. Although those eyes I enjoyed took my breath away with his powerful gaze, he stared at me as though he loved me, as though his world rose and fell at my command and I had never seen anything as lovely him looking at me like that._

_"You are a great beauty, but I was first impressed with you when I saw you getting onto some young lords for being rude to a maid, anyone can be pretty, but you choose to be kind Lady Ashara, and when you laugh…." He trailed off, not finding the right words and he looked embarrassed but for the first time tonight I blushed. Although so many men better with their words had been comparing me to summer time and flowers and the maiden herself Ned saw something good in me besides my looks which I was born with them I did not earn them, and when he complimented me he was struck wordless and I was not sure my heart could feel so stricken but everything sounded wonderful in his thick manly northern accent._

_"It is the duty of the strong to care for the weak." I told him. "Arthur, my brother always says that. And between you and me I never really fancied myself the damsel." I told him curtly with a devious smile._

_His smile was pure joy and good. "No, I would say you're as strong as they come…. My lady."_

_"Aren't you the chivalrous knight." I teased._

_"Not a knight."_

_"A poet?" I asked and he laughed this wonderful warm laugh._

_"Definitely not."_

_"Well are you going to keep me guessing?" I asked with a smirk._

_"I'm the second son of Winterfell, I'm a solider."_

_"I should have known." She said decidedly. He suddenly felt the movement of her slender fingers in their joined hands. "Rough hands."_

_"And yours are soft."_

_"You have called my bluff I am not a solider." I teased and he laughed again. I could hear Robert Baratheon's loud drunk voice over all the others in the merry hall shouting to the people right next to him "Ned is laughing! Ned is laughing at a ball!" Like it was a rarity? Why was it then I could imaging him laughing and merry in my arms perhaps in my bed._

_"I am sorry about my brother, he never knows when he over steps, or if he does it never stops him."_

_"I am glad he was bold, we would have never properly met otherwise." I told him._

_"So you prefer bold men?" Eddard asked._

_"There is something to be said for more reserved men but-" I started and he scoffed._

_"What!" I asked insistently._

_"I cannot say it in front of a lady." He admitted._

_"Make an exception." I demanded with a devious smirk. "I am like no lady you have ever met before." I told him his eyes seemed to devour me as he hummed his agreement._

_"Fine, I have noticed that anything a person says before the word but his horse shit." The northern lord said and she couldn't contain her laughter._

_"I must say I have under estimated you." I told him I could almost feel myself falling for him._

_"You still haven't told me what kind of men you prefer Lady Ashara." He told me moved in as though it was a secret, a chose I soon regretted because being slightly closer to him seemed to make him all the more intoxicating._

_"Very well my Lord." I told him looking up into his eyes he was a little taller then me just enough for me to have to tilt my head up to look at those icy grey eyes as we danced this close and although I could hear the loud festivities it all could not mean less to me during this dance. "I like men who are…." My next word was chosen based on how I would describe how he danced and talked, how I would describe him. "Steady." I said as the instruments stopped the people soon cheered and I curtseyed, and he bowed._

_Before I left him to watch me walk away as I went to go tell Elia everything about my northern man._

When I woke Eddard was gone. I tried the door but it was locked. There was food on the table. I ran to the window I saw no horses out front.

Aegon was sitting up in bed and I went to stick his little hat on his head.

"Baby?" He asked he was still only a bit more than a baby himself.

"No baby." I told him softly.

I went to the tray of food grabbing some things I knew he liked before bringing them to him.

"Eat my love. You will need to be so very strong on our journey." I told him kissing his head as I watched him happily grab for a grape.

I grabbed a spare piece of parchment I may not be able to reach Sunspear on my own but if I got word to Doran he would have an army march to us. If I got word to Oberyn he would kill any man between him and his sister's orphaned son and her loyal friend.

I looked in vain for ink, but I could find none in the small shabby room.

I heard a horse and ran back to the window. There was Eddard, the lone rider. I looked past him to the sun high enough in the sky to have me wonder, how long we had been asleep?

"Did you drug me?" I asked as soon as he opened the door? He through down something heavy that went to the ground with a thud but I knew not what as it was wrapped in leather, I was more focused on Eddard who moved quickly past me without even a glance.

"I did not have to you and the boy were out like a light the moment you laid down." He said he seemed to avoid my gaze like it was poison. He had something he in his arms he huddled close to his chest. I wondered what he was hiding and why he was working so hard not to look at me.

"Where did you go? Where are all your men?" I asked but he stayed turned away looking around the room. Looking for something? Whatever he was doing he was obviously avoiding me and it made me angry. "Just because you have someone else now does not mean you can be rude to me!" I told him sternly trying to not to sound as close to tears as I was, it was not my fault I had been an emotional wreck since my birth, well since before it but that was more due to all the good people dying. Eddard stopped moving but he did not turn to face me like a man. He didn't even respond to me , I wasn't even worth wasting words on anymore I supposed. "LOOK AT ME EDDARAD I AM TALKING TO YOU!" I yelled and an infants started balling oddly even though he was to old for it I looked to where Aegon was happily eating on the bed he looked up to see why his auntie had yelled but he was not scared of me he had no reason to be and he knew that.

I realized after a moment of stupidity that from where the screaming came from it was the bundle in Eddards arms he confirmed this when he started to shush the bundle.

I went over to see it for myself. A pale little baby with a little dark hair.

"W-whose baby do you have." I whispered when it started to set in how odd this was.

"It's mine." He said not looking at me. He seemed ashamed.

I laughed an ugly angry short laugh. "No it is not!" I told him.

He looked up at me now I was starting to annoy him. "Ashara I told you he's mine now I don't want to hear another word about it!" He demanded in that northern voice of his I was sure if he barked an order at another girl, his tully girl perphaps she would be scared and do as her lord husband bid her without ever another fuss. I was never good at being a good timid girl.

"So…..you had a bastard?" I asked not believing it for a moment.

"Things happen in war." He said still avoiding my purple eyes.

"Yes they certainly due. You got married during a war. Because your honor compelled you to for the good of your family." I spat I could feel the tears on my face. "Even though-" I started but it was to hard.

"Even though I loved another." Eddard finished the first time since we were united at least that he admitted he did love me.

"And although you did your duty to her, though you loved me, you turned around and abandoned that duty?" I asked he better be lying because I was getting very angry at the thought of this.

"Its complicated!" He said as the baby screamed.

"Make it simple!" I demanded.

"I can't!" Eddard said.

"Fine, ill bite." I said trying to keep a civil tone but my anger sang through the lace colored words.

"You always did." Eddard muttered, if I wasn't so angry I would never have let go Eddard stark making a crass joke.

"What did she look like." I asked.

"STOP IT!" He demanded.

"Did she kiss better then I do?"

"Ashara!"

"Did you say the same sweet things you said to me."

"Ashara enough." He said angerly but more so tiredly eyes but I refused to let up.

"No I want to know Ned! Do you prefer her in bed then Catelyn Tully? Do you prefer her to me?"

"No one could ever compare to you! Is that what you want to hear? Because it's true and that is all I will ever think about when I am with Catelyn does that make you happy? In some sick way are we even now that you know I will never be happy with an honest good woman because I will always be thinking about Ashara Dayne!" He asked there were tears in his eyes and as horrible as I felt in my stomach the thought pushed through that he said Catelyn nobody else no bastards mother.

"I knew it wasn't true." I whispered softly though he seemed to hear me over the babies cries.

"God damit Ashara I need to find away to feed Jon! I can't do this now. I couldn't find a wetnurse all the way here!" Eddard said.

I looked at the little red faced baby accident or not I woke him. I could hear my brothers voice saying you broke it you fix it. I scoffed as I untied the top of my dress he'd be _so _proud when I told him this.

"What are you-"

"Give me the baby." I told him he only clutched it tighter.

"Why?"

"Because he is starving and I'm going to feed him." I told him reaching for him again.

Eddard was now focusing at looking at my eyes and not the ample cleavage hanging free.

"That isn't how it works." Eddard said.

"You could stand here and tell me how my body works or I could feed him Ned!" I told him and finally he handed him over and turned away.

Now this had to work so I could prove Ned wrong, but I didn't really now what to do. I brought the baby to my nipple and nature seemed to handle the rest he took to it immediately. "He's latching." I told Eddard who was so relieved he turned to me and then turned away I smirked I never thought I'd get to see him ghost white again.

"Up up!" Aegon said he apparently felt left out.

"Would you?" I asked Eddard nodded he went over and picked him up Eddard smiled because he wasn't cruel, he couldn't hate a baby for who it belonged to. He looked over Aegon carefully he gave the toddler a little toss catching him making him giggle. I noticed how deeply he stared at Aegon. After a few minutes I finally had to sit down with him.

"How long does this usually take!" I asked

"I am not going to try to correct you about..that again." Eddard said simply. "How." He asked softly. His gaze was kind and into my eyes.

I looked at him but only for a minute before focusing back on Jon making sure he was alright. "I lost a baby." I whispered it was the first time I said it out loud.

"When?"

"a few days ago." I said softly.

"Are you alright?" He asked but instead I answered the question his eyes asked. And you were angry at me for my bastard? Those grey eyes practically shouted.

I gave him a hard look but I looked strait into his eyes. "When I heard you married Catelyn Tully it broke me. I was heartbroken and lonely and you broke your word, I know it wasn't in the eyes of the gods or anything, but you said…..it doesn't matter I had a bastard but I never quiet had your since of honor, now can you tell me the same?" I asked.

"We have to stop fighting about that, I have to tell you something worse Ashara." Eddard said but I ignored him when a question crossed my mind.

"Why are you even in Dorne?" I thought of them saying they were looking for a lady and after the short northern man looked at me he knew it was not me.

The baby finally seemed sated Eddard moved to take him he seemed very protective of him but as I rocked him in my arms he was almost asleep and Eddard decided not to ruin that fragile peace.

"Is Lyanna in Dorne?" I asked suddenly angry at the idea Rhaegar would bring his other woman to Dorne of all places. I looked up to see his face the pain on his face. "Lyanna died." He said softly.

"Lyanna died." I repeated not believing it, it was not as though we were friends but there was a time I thought she would be my good sister, she was wild and free for the short time I knew her. I looked down at the baby who yawned softly. "And you have her baby."

"No." Eddard said but it was weak at best. "He would never live in peace being Rhaegars son." Eddard whispered softly.

I looked from him to Aegon who was looking out the window.

"I wouldn't wish that on anyone." I admitted softly but it seemed so unfair Lyanna's son would live in relative peace and Aegon was to be hated and hunted, then I realized what peace would a bastard boy find outside of Dorne? They were brothers after all. Surely Eddard would not leave Jon's brother to rot away.

"No one can ever know Ashara!" Eddard warned. "I made a vow to Lyanna that I would protect her son." Eddard told me and I looked up at him we were the same in this. We mad vows to women we loved to protect their only son and it would shape us for the rest of our lives.

"I vowed to protect Aegon. I promise I won't tell Ned, I will even help you. If you help me." I promised.

I placed the baby in Eddards arms so I could tie the top of my dress so Eddard could stop jarring his neck to look away.

"You've seen them before." I mused.

"It would not be right." He said simply but once I was done he looked rather curious at me.

"Are you ready for a life time of hounding questions like mine or worse?"

"No." Eddard admitted he was tired upset he was probably tired from being upset.

"Well they will ask for ever, unless. Jon has a mother. I will claim him, my brother already knows I was having a bastard once we were back in favor with the crown he was going to ask for it to be legitimized. He could be a knight of house Dayne."

"Jon is a Stark he belongs in the north."

"He could live their with you half of the time when he got older he could live there all the time and he would have a house name, a place where people didn't scorn him for being a bastard."

"And in return?" Eddard sighed.

"You get Robert to Pardon Aegon, not that he should have to as Aegon is a baby." I reminded.

"That will never happen." Eddard said honestly. "But I could convince him to let me foster Aegon in the North he would never allow him to live in Dorne. Besides do you really want the Martell brothers using him as a puppet for revenge?" Eddard asked.

"Where ever Aegon goes I go. Do you really want to bring Jon and I to Winterfell?" I asked sharpily hoping he would see my way and let us stay in Dorne though the fear of Aegon being thrusted to young into battle worried me. I could care less for the throne he had lost, it was his life that mattered to me. I doubted his uncles would see things so clearly.

"More then anything." Eddard mumbled. "But you aren't going to want to help me." He told me. "Arthur was at the tower of joy Ashara." Eddard said and my heart skipped a beat Arthur would come for me. HE would not kill Eddard if I asked him not to. Poor Ned would be our prisoner soon and Aegon could live as a prince of Dorne. "I am sorry to tell you I had to killed him."

"You couldn't have." I said in disbelief Eddard could not beat Arthur nobody could when he was trying he only ever let Rhaegar beat him so the prince looked good.

He went back to where he had dropped something with a thud and my heart ached when he removed the leather showing Dawn. I was wordless as my heart broke.

"I will still take Aegon, I will return you and the sword to Starfall and I will just take Jon home a bastard of war. " He told me.

I stared at the sword not quite fathoming the loss of Arthurs light to the world.

"Get out Eddard." I finally said my voice stayed soft to keep from waking the baby. Eddard was to the door when he stopped as I spoke. "Your plain is fowl, I will not separate from Aegon. I will go with you to winterfell I will claim your bastard is Brandon and mines and I swear to all the gods I will be a good mother to him. But not for you, because it's the only way for me to keep my promise to Elia, and for you to truly keep yours to Lyaana, but don't for a second think I feel anything for you anymore." I said it felt like a stone was in my throat and hot tears ran down my face.

"We leave tomorrow." He said softly

"Leave the baby, unless you plan on feeding him when he wakes up." Eddard carefully put Jon in my arms kissing his little head before his could eyes met my own purple eyes. "Thank you Asha." He said softly before leaving Eddard would not try and remove my hate from him, he was to honorable to push of guilt he would valiantly except my distain.

I could not believe what I agreed to and with my brothers killer none the less but I had no choice. I had made a vow and seemed to now be apart of another. I looked down at Jon in my arms and Aegon as he ran to me. These sweet boys were innocent of their fathers' crimes and good and they would be mine and I would love Jon and perhaps he would heal the ache from my own lost child. But in that moment my whole body hurt all over.


	2. A Wolf Who Lost His Pack

**Thank you so much for the lovely comments so far! Sorry it has taken so long to get out the second chapter. Young Eddard was really hard for me to write for some reason, I am not thrilled with how his pov turned out but it was as good as it was going to get. Please leave me a comment and tell me what you think. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!**

In the red mountains of Dorne, on an island in the mouth of the river Torentine, which flowed out into the Summer Sea stood Starfall. I stood before it with my guards looking up at its beauty as I wiped the sweat from my brow. It was beautiful whether or not the founder of House Dayne built it on the spot he had found the magic rock which would one day become Dawn. As a boy, and long before I fell in love with a purple eyed daughter of its people, I wondered at what it would be like to be a knight of the House of Dayne and have a chance at wielding Dawn. But now, as I looked up at the white marble in the sand, I only thought of her. I should have come here joyously with companions like my brothers or Robert. Not with guards whose only purpose was to keep the Lord of Winterfell alive. I should not be here with terrible news; I should be here asking for permission from Lord Ulrick to marry his sister instead of this grim reality.

Lord Ulrick Dayne came out with his own guard. He wore lilac coloured silk robes. He was tall like Ashara but he had fair blonde hair unlike her dark waves. He was somber faced, and I wondered if he always looked that way or if it was because of the war that I now brought to his door step. In any case he had her purple eyes.

"Lord Stark." He said but his eyes were on the sword in my hands.

"Lord Dayne, I came to return her to you." I told him offering it to him. He quickly took it in hand and then nodded. He was a man of intelligence and knew what it meant that I was bringing him his brother's sword.

"A lesser man would have taken it so I suppose I owe you that much." Ulrick said as he examined the sword before handing it to the maestor behind him. His purple eyes met mine. "Did he die well?" He asked and I was surprised by his words. Although there was a sadness to him, he had did not shed a tear for his brother.

"He did with honor Lord Dayne." I promised. "He kept his oath to the end." I now understood what it was like to have taken an oath that meant more then your own life, I made one to Lyanna.

Ulrick looked away from me and down at the sand. "I suppose he would have wanted that. He was my brother and I loved him, but I have been mourning my brother for some time now. Rhaegar's foolishness and arrogance killed him, and I knew Arthur would loyally follow him to the grave." He said bitterly.

"My servants are bringing you food and water and that for your horses, but you will not be allowed in and given the hospitality of Starfall." He said sternly. "Blood is always spilled in war, but a woman's? A princess of Dorne? Has the usurper no Honor?" He asked. He was a true Dornishman, loyal to House Martell, and so I expected nothing less.

"Robert did not kill your princess." I reminded.

"No but he did not punish the guilty." Lord Ulrick reminded.

No, he had not and in anger I left him, letter after letter from Jon Arryn counseling patience, and forgiveness. But Robert let Tywin Lannister and his son go with pardons after the horrors they committed. It was hot and I was tired and I was not about to debate Robert and what he should have done and what he did not do.

"Ashara-" I started and his eyes widened.

"What do you know of Ashara?!" Ulrick asked impatiently but I could see how worried he was as soon as I said her name.

"She is well." I promised.

"You have seen her?" Ulrick asked.

"I have." I said slowly.

He was silent and I wondered what he knew or thought he knew until he finally asked. "What of her child?"

"A boy." I said I wondered if he knew the child's father if he would end our lie in its birth. "He is healthy." I added.

He was silent again only nodding in response and we were both without words. The only sound was the shifting of our men and the rustling of the wind against the Dornish sand as the sun bore down on us.

"Is he your son?" He asked finally and it was I who could no longer meet his eyes.

"She asked me to give you this." I said giving him a scroll with a ring of hers around it.

"She need not part from this, I believe_ you _have her, I need no proof." He said sourly with fire in his purple eyes, it made him look so much like her. He pulled the ring free of the scroll without looking away from me. "But I asked you if you would claim her son Stark?" He said pocketing the note, but his sisters ring he spun around his fingers feeling each silver star. His eyes held on me as if to say I know it was you.

Ashara told me over and over again that we would say it was Brandon's, that it would be easier that way. I knew that was wrong. I had promised to keep Jon safe, it was not Brandon's vow but mine. Ashara was sure it would be simpler but Ulrick Dayne wanted to know his brother died an honorable death, and Brandon deserved honor in death as well. I ignored the part of me that hated to even think about my dearly departed brother touching Ashara, as much as I missed him and wanted him back the idea made my skin crawl. It was vain, selfish, childish and stupid; but Ashara is the only woman I ever met that preferred me to Brandon and a part of me did not want to give that up.

I met his eyes. "Yes, he is mine and they are going back to Winterfell with me." I told him.

"I am happy to house both of them here, surely that would be easier for you and your young bride." Ulrick said with easy disdain that seemed to come natural to him at least when concerning me.

"That is a kind offer, but I will take responsibility for both of them and any shame I have caused for your family." I told him and he looked at me with the most sincere look, before when he shook his head.

"I am not ashamed; I love my sister with all my heart, and she could **never **shame me." He told me. "She does not think I am ashamed, does she?" He added with growing concern.

"No, of course not it's just bastards-" I started but he cut me off.

"Bastards are made from passion, Ashara is full of passion. We do not despise them here in Dorne, leave him with me where your son can grow up in peace instead of disdain. I would always make sure of his wellbeing, I would ask the _king _to legitimize him. He could be a knight of House Dayne, he could be even more. My wife and I have tried for years to have a child with no luck, Ashara will inherit after me and then your son could someday be the lord of Starfall."

For a moment I was tempted, it was a better life for Jon then I could ever offer him at Winterfell.

"I will not leave the boy behind, and she will not let him go." I said simply knowing full well that to the Daynes I would be the monster in this tale, the horrible foreigner that took the fair maiden far away from everyone who loved her. They did not understand I loved her the most and could not have her. That was my curse to bare.

"So, you have taken my brother's life and now you take my sister and her child? And you think I will stand for it?"

"Doran has agreed to peace." I reminded him carefully.

"Doran's sister is dead, mine is alive, you fought a war for your sister, what is stopping me from killing for mine? I could have you and your men killed, go find her and bring her and her son here." He said as both his hands curled into fists.

"And tell him how you murdered his father?" I asked readying for a fight.

"No, you are right." He said softly. "You can tell him how you murdered his uncle." He said but his fist opened up and he offered me the ring. "Tell her she will always have a place at Starfall."

"She is not my prisoner; she is free to go whenever she wishes." I said. It was true. She did me a great service saying she was Jon's mother and feeding him but she did not need to go to Winterfell with me. But then she would not part from Aegon who had to go to Winterfell with me.

"Then why isn't she here?"

"She said it would be too painful and you would try to convince her to leave Jon." I said and he only nodded but he put the ring into my hand and held it with both of his.

"You know the last time I saw my brother? He told me of the tournament, he told me the only good that came from it was Ashara found a good man and that I would meet you soon, he was so sure you would come ask for her hand. He assured me you were a man of character and although you are a second son, I should give you a chance because you were a man of honor. My brother was a mountain among men, but he was wrong about you Lord Stark." He said before letting me go and turning back to Starfall.

We watered our horses and when he came out again with more men and I worried about trouble. I was careful not to mention Aegon, he might not kill us all for his sister but his little prince was another thing. Aegon was Elia Martell's son and to them the rightful king, they would massacre every one of us to get Aegon. Then I saw her, the little girl at Ulrick's side, who gripped his hand, and who I assumed was Ashara's baby sister, Allyria.

"Stand down!" I told my men and I saw Ulrick nod gratefully as he wrapped a protective arm around his sister.

"I should have read her letter first, the ring is for Allyria." Ulrick said awkwardly. I just nodded before bending down. I handed her the ring.

"When will my sister come home Lord Stark?" She asked like a little lady.

"I…I don't know." I told her.

"If you ever change your mind, we will always take them. If you decide to do right by the both of them, remember you are not the only one who loves her Lord Stark. We all love Ashara Dayne here." Ulrick told me.

"YOU SAID WHAT!" She cried as she paced back and forth at yet another inn. I wondered if Howland could hear from the other room.

"Jon is my responsibility. I had to claim him." I told her solidly. It was still wondrous to me that I had rehearsed the lie all the way from the Tower of Joy to the Inn, and she broke me down in a matter of minutes. Ashara seemed to have a knack for it. I had never been a foolish lover but at Harrenhal she brought something out of me I never thought I would know, even now there was something inside me desperate for her that I had to suppress. A part of me that wanted to leap up from where I sat and pull her into my arms and hold her tightly, to run my hands through that raven hair once more, but I couldn't, I had made a vow to Catelyn and even if I hadn't, I killed Arthur she would never have me now.

"I have to live with your wife?! Did you not think of that!" She screamed.

Silence fell as she slumped to the bed. I looked at the floor, I had not thought of that or what trouble it would cause her. I looked up when I realized she was panting. She had been pacing in circles and shouting for a while now. No wonder she was tired.

"I had not thought of that." I admitted looking up into those perfect purple pools.

"A common theme with you it seems!" She said and I had to smile, she was not a well-behaved woman who never spoke above a soft whisper and only said sweet things, her words could cut sharper then her family sword when she wanted to and I loved it.

"WHY ARE YOU SMILING?!" She yelled. "If she makes my life a living hell I will make yours feel like all seven hells." She promised. No, she was not going to suffer in silence.

"I keep faith with the old Gods." I told her but she could not even give me a smile. She was angry for what I had done, she was angry I killed her brother. She was angry the Royalists had lost, and that Elia was dead. It all made her so angry and, I think, tired.

"We have a long day tomorrow." She said as a tear slipped down her face.

"Ashara-" I started.

"Please go!" She said and I did.

"I will be on the other side of this door if you need anything." I promised. Every night in an attempt to make her feel safe I slept against her door although that night I couldn't sleep. It all weighed heavily on me.

The next day as we rode I had to fight to stay alert, I would look back at her talking to Jon's wet nurse, the woman had been with us for weeks but Ashara seemed to feed him. Even as we rode he was with Ashara, not the wet nurse or the two silent sisters with us. She seemed to have bonded with him, and I thought it was sweet. But she would not be talking and smiling if she rode next to me, she barely talked at all to me.

She hated me and I killed her brother. Howland said I should explain that I killed her brother out of mercy, but I did not tell anyone of Howland's part in all that. Not to steal any glory but to take all the blame. It's not as if it mattered. Ashara may live at Winterfell but she would never be mine. I was married to a woman I didn't love but to whom I had sworn wedding oaths, and was honor bound to obey them. It seemed every which way I was trapped by some oath or another.

So why was I, an honorable man, unable to stop looking back at Ashara Dayne? I told myself it was because I had to keep an eye on Jon and Aegon but I was a horrible liar. I closed my eyes for a moment and thought of Harrenhal, when things were so simple.

The first night I danced with her but only because Brandon said he was tired of me sulking and staring at her. Brandon was always the leader he took charge, he was supposed to be the lord of Winterfell not me, and now he was gone, and he would never do something bold and fool hardy again.

The next day I just stared at her all through the tourney, there were no knights in the North, so we just watched our friends on the first day. She had looked at me only occasionally, but she barely paid me any mind. She was Ashara Dayne and had far better prospects then me and I thought that was that, until it was not.

_It was early in the second day of the Tourney, and so early we still slept in our tent with a chilly breeze blowing through the crisp morning air._

_I opened my eyes when I heard shuffling about the tent, I was about to yell at Benjen to be quiet when I heard Brandon's laughter. Brandon, Benjen and Howland all sat up where they had been sleeping to look at the beautiful woman who had come into our tent. She wore a lilac dress and a riding cloak it was doubtful she had wanted to be seen._

_"Can we help you my lady? Are you lost?" Brandon spoke up first but he grinned largely like he knew that was not the case. Ashara just gave him a soft smile as she looked around from Benjen's horrified face to Howland who was almost in a panic, neither of them had ever even imagined a noble girl would just walk into their tent the way fearless Ashara Dayne did. Her purple eyes made their way to me and she smiled._

_I was shocked to see her but my eyes were mostly filled with sleep, it had been a late night trying to get Brandon to go back to the tent, I sent the other boys ahead to bed and stayed with him and the two of us had only slept a few hours._

_"I am fine thank you, I was just going for a morning stroll, I highly recommend it. Lord Brandon you should take your friends as well." She told Brandon evenly as she took off her cloak._

_Brandon gave me a bewildered look, but his wide grin never wavered. He turned to the boys. "You heard her, let's go now." Brandon said throwing boots at Benjen. All around me the three of them rushed, getting their scabbards, tunics and boots on but all the while I stared at her trying to wrap my head around this. Howland stared at me but was quickly pulled out by Benjen. Brandon followed them but stopped before leaving, teasing. "Have a good time children, don't do anything I wouldn't do." _

_"And what exactly is it you would not do?" Ashara said teasing him right back._

_Brandon laughed nodding to her in approval before he left._

_I realized I was still on the ground in the blankets I slept in and scrambled to get up until she said. "Don't get up." musingly as she walked towards me. "Perhaps I'll join you."_

_"My lady that -you don't-It would not be proper" I rambled, and she only laughed bending down next to me. Her hand gently touched my bare chest and I had to swallow a wanting noise._

_"Are you pledged to someone Lord Eddard?" She asked softly._

_"No." I almost sighed as her fingers twirled around my chest._

_"Good, I am not either, so it will not be a stain on your honor." She determined and I was sure I could not put up any more of a protest. "So, move over." Ashara said. I opened up the blankets and moved over before she quickly got in to not let the heat out. She was more onto me then next to me. I did not complain as I laid back on my back, she laid her head against my shoulder blade and my hand was in her dark curls lazily running through them. When she had came towards me my heart was beating so loudly, I swore she could hear it but it was amazing how quickly I became so comfortable with her. It was nice to be cuddled in with her._

_"Mmh you're warm." She told me as she snuggled into me, one of her hands was against my chest and the other wrapped around my shoulder in a tight embrace._

_"You are cold." I told her as I touched her arm, which still carried the chill in the air, and rubbing it gently to try and warm her up._

_"You're sweet." She decided she pulled herself up to sit astride me, looking down into my eyes._

_"You did not come to me yesterday, why?" Ashara asked with our lips a speck apart and I saw the disappointment in her eyes. I assumed she hadn't a care about our dance, a dance that had been the greatest moment of my life until this one. Now I could see she wanted me to approach her and she was disappointed I did not. Ashara Dayne was not short of suitors. It made me wonder what she saw in me and it made me think how little I could offer her._

_"You know I am a second son?" I asked her, because in truth I had no business courting a woman of her standing._

_"I don't care." She told me with a smirk._

_"You should." I told her before her finger came up to trace my lips._

_"Do you want to kiss me Eddard?" She asked with that beautiful, laughing voice of hers._

_"Yes." I told her softly. I did, more than anything, in that moment._

_"Do second born sons kiss worse than heirs?" She teased as her hand played in my hair._

_"I hope not." I said making her smile._

_"Then kiss me Ned." She says as if it were the simplest thing in the world. My hand reached up and she pulled her down to me as our lips crashed together. There was this burning sensation in my throat as I kissed her, a burning need I'd never felt before. The more I kissed her and the more the kissed deepened it only made me burn more._

_She pulled away with that beautiful smile._

_"Do you want to court me Ned?" She asked with her usual easy smile, but her eyes analyzed me carefully._

_"More than anything."_

_"Then do it." She said before kissing me again softly before sitting up._

_"I should go before I am missed." Ashara said as she got up. I got up with her._

_"I think I'm in love with you." I told her she just smiled sweetly, brushing back my hair like she's heard that a lot. "You aren't like anyone I've ever met." I told her, and I hadn't. She was so bold and cunning and still so good._

_"Good." She said with a charming smile._

_It wasn't even until after she left I realized I had no idea how to court a girl._

I looked back at her and watched her eyes narrow as she caught me, but she quickly looked past me and her eyes widened. I turned to see it as well. A large party holding up banners with a falcon having a baby in it's clutches were coming toward us, they had more men than we did. I tried to calm myself this was a busy road after all.

"Lets hope they aren't looking for us." Howland said. After our friends were killed, he was the only one who knew we were moving Elia Martell's son through Dorne to take him to Winterfell, we did not even trust our guards. Aegon wore a little cape on his head and a riding cloak over that. At three Ashara assured me he already knew how to ride but I had his horse tied to that of Ashara's just in case. It was to keep the boy safe but now I worried I should have tied the boy to my horse.

"How far are we from the port?" I asked him quietly.

"Our ship is just over those hills." Reed said.

I heard Howland let out a breath as they moved their horses to go around us.

"LARA!" Ashara called out and the woman in the middle of all those men and they all stopped as she did.

"Don't!" I called back quietly to her but it was too late. Her friend rode her horse forward to get a better look at who had called her name.

"Ashara Dayne, what are you doing with Northmen?" Lara asked.

"I am the father of her child; we need to move." I said quickly.

"How-" Laura began as Ashara whipped off Aegon's cape and hood in one fluid motion. I turned my horse around going back to her.

"HE IS PRINCE AEGON TARGARYEN I SWEAR IT BY ALL THE GODS, TELL THE PRINCES HE IS ALIVE." The princes must know!" Ashara cried as I got back to her, jumping off of my horse and onto hers as quickly as I could and taking control of the reigns.

"GO!" I yelled to my men as Lara yelled her orders to her men.

We rode hard across the hills when I had imagined holding Ashara again I did not think she would be cursing and screaming at me, but she was. She made no attempt to escape, in fact she held Jon protectively to her and would call out to the young Targaryen every once and awhile. "Egg, hold on tight!"

They didn't attack us. From their large group only five men followed, and I knew the rest were headed to Sunspear. The five men stayed on their horses and watched from the last hill as we made the port. They were just trying to see where we were going.

"We could kill them." Reed offered as he came over and grabbed Aegon from his horse.

"I will kill you if you hurt him!" Ashara yelled as I pulled her down from her horse. The babe let out a squall in protest, and Ashara turned to comfort him.

"The word is out anyways. Their deaths will serve no point." I said and Howland nodded in agreement as we got to the row boats.

"They don't have bows so we should be good." Reed said he put Aegon in the boat and helped the silent sister and wet nurse in as I assisted Ashara and Jon into as well.

"I can take the baby into my care, if you would like Lord Stark." The wet nurse said.

"I am Jon's mother! He stays with me!" Ashara told her with a deadly glare.

"We will be having words on the ship Ashara! Until then I don't want to hear anything else from you." I told her.

"Leave my aunt alone!" Aegon demanded like a child who was used to adults doing what he told them.

In that moment in anger I said. "You are not a prince anymore! You are not entitled to anything anymore; you will not speak like that!" I told him. I regretted it as soon as I said it, he was just a little boy who was trying to protect the last person he had left who loved him. He started crying and Howland let Ashara pull him into her arms.

She glared at me. "He is just a boy Eddard." She told me.

She was right. He was just a boy. It her I was still livid at.

As soon as we got down into the ship, I turned to Howland.

"Will you watch over the children?" I asked him. He was the only man here I could trust with Jon and the Crown Prince.

"As long as you leave the wet nurse and the silent sister, and they care for them the whole time." He teased. I took Jon from Ashara, handing him to the wet nurse and he started screaming. He cried only a little during the hell ride to the port, and he had slept happily in Ashara's arms for the boat ride but now on the safe, steady ship, headed to the north, he wailed.

The silent sister took Aegon's hand.

"I want to stay with you." Aegon told Ashara weakly.

"We will be together soon." She promised him. I wanted to pull her into the other room but I did not want to scare Aegon more then I already had, so I just led her from the room. I gestured for her to walk down the tiny hall of the ship to the captain's quarters, and she went, although she glared at me the whole time.

I felt we were far enough from the children for me to slam the door shut or maybe my rage was just taking over.

"They deserve to know he is alive!" She defended as she crossed her arms. Her purple eyes narrowed at me; she was as stubborn as a mule. _They _of course meant Elia's brothers. And they would kill every man and woman on this ship to get Aegon back.

"You could have gotten us all killed!" I told her.

"I know Lara. She would not risk mine and Aegon's lives attacking you." Ashara said.

"And if you miscalculated, and she just told them to kill all my men?!" I spat.

She looked up at me not backing down.

"Men die in war all the time!" She shouted.

"The war is over! Robert is king, you've probably started another war!"

"If they believed Aegon was dead then Robert could kill him without consequence. He will now honor your words, if only to keep Dorne from rebelling and calling for Robert's head." Ashara returned. Though it made sense, it only made me angrier still, angry that she didn't trust _my _word.

"They didn't for Elia." I replied softly, and I saw hurt fill her eyes before anger overtook it.

"A mistake they will learn from." She said coldly.

"You want Robert to come to Dorne and push your own people into submission?" I asked

She laughed an angry laugh. "If your friend steps a foot in Dorne he would lose the foot. Maybe not a rebellion yet, but they hate your friend in Dorne. They drink to his death." Ashara hissed.

"You underestimate Robert!" I told her.

"You underestimate Dorne. We did not fall to the dragons, we will not fall to you!" She cried and there it was. We were suddenly enemies.

I sat down in a chair. "I don't want to go back to war, Ashara, I don't want to see the bodies in the streets again. How the weak and the old suffer the most." I told her softly and I could see her softening. I knew she didn't want that either, I knew she was just scared, and her fear made her angry.

"Make your friend do right by that boy!" She said finally, keeping the fire in her voice, but she sat on the bed.

I only nodded and for a few minutes we sat in silence as the boat rocked.

"Eddard, don't take Jon from me." She said softly and I glared at her.

"How can I trust you with him, with our secret? I should send you back to your brother." I grumbled.

"You wouldn't do that. You would not separate me from them." She said but it was more her trying to convince herself that I would not.

"I know you promised Elia her boy's safety. I will take on that promise, and he will be fostered at Winterfell. I will care for him. You do not need to give up your life." I promised. What was one more oath?

"Aegon has lost everything, he deserves to have someone who loves him, not just someone responsible for him. He deserves someone who can put him first." She told me.

I sighed. She made it so hard. She made everything more complicated it seemed, or maybe I did. After all I was the one still in love with her.

"And Jon." She added.

"What about Jon?" I asked.

"He deserves the same."

"You don't think I love him?"

"You think you can put him first with Tully's children around?"

"You are not actually his mother Ashara!" I said annoyed.

"But I already love him and could not live without him." She said softly. "You have taken my brother from me, do not take Jon." She said softly.

"Did you think of Jon when you pulled that stunt?" I asked in a growl holding onto the last of my anger.

"If there was a fight and you lost, Jon would have came to Starfall with me and had a wonderful life. I would have written a letter to Prince Oberyn ahead of you and the other prisoners asking him to show you mercy."

"Really?" I asked. I didn't imagine she would want to do me any favors.

She only shrugged. "If I could control my heart, I assure you I would." She said.

With wide eyes I opened my mouth to say, what I don't know, perhaps confess my own feelings not that she did not already know them, but she did not wait for me. She got up from the bed looking away from me as she walked toward me.

"Tell me I may keep Jon." She said darkly, trying to shake off her emotion.

"Jon deserves a mother who will do the best by him. That is the only reason I am agreeing to this." I told her but I was not sure I knew how to say no to her.

The ship rocked hard and she stumbled into my arms.

"Are you alright?" I asked. For a moment I held her, taken back by the smell of her perfume and the touch of her hair against my skin, her hands as she had tried to catch herself on my shoulders. I never thought I would touch her again and maybe it was that paired with how tired I was but I lost all the will to be angry with her. She quickly got up pushing me away from her.

"I am fine." She said flatly.

"You are probably tired. I will bring you the children, and stay outside your door." I told her and I saw something in her soften.

"You don't have to sleep against the door Ned." She said softly.

"I don't mind." I told her.

"You are exhausted. Sleep in here." She told me softly.

"That's very kind." I told her.

She shrugged with a small smile. "You are no use to me if you are too tired to protect my boys." She told me and I shared her smile.

I went and got the children. I walked back into the room with Aegon on my shoulders, which seemed to make him forget how horrible I was earlier, and Jon in my arms. He looked at me with tired, dark eyes and I thanked god he had Lyanna's eyes. There was a shade of purple to them, and I thanked the gods for Ashara Dayne. That would be horribly hard to explain without her, although I doubted anyone who wasn't looking intensely at them would see that.

I looked up and Ashara was in her chemise, taking off her earrings, and preparing for bed and I worked very hard not to look at her. But she was all I wanted to see. I pulled Aegon down from my shoulders, and down in the bed before stealing another glance at her. I turned and put Jon in the crib that had been bolted to the floor per my instructions. I looked again but it turned into me just staring longingly at her.

"What?" She finally asked shaking me out of it.

"I am sorry I just…Do you remember when you laid down with me in my tent the second day of the tourney at Harrenhal?" I asked a question. The question had to have come from my lack of sleep.

She gave me a hard look as she frowned, like she was wondering why I would bring back such good memories in such a hopeless time. As if talking about them now in our misery would ruin them. She turned away from me to gently take Jon from the crib and down to lay on the bed beside Aegon, who fell asleep almost instantly.

To my great surprise she turned back to me saying. "Yes, I remember." Ashara was not one to turn away from a challenge and I was sure she thought that is what this was.

If I didn't ask her now, I knew I would wonder for the rest of my life. I decided I was too close to having an answer to stop now. "Why did you do that? You barely knew me." I asked the question had kept me up at night for the years that followed it, sometimes in the middle of the war I would catch myself still thinking about Ashara Dayne, the boldest woman who ever lived and why on earth did she choose me.

I thought I saw a glimmer of a smile before she turned to glance at the boys, before she combed through her hair with her hand.

"I knew I was attracted to you. When I told my friends, they would ask if I was going to marry you, and though I truly liked you I could not imagine us married." She told me and my chest hurt until she looked back at me with those purple eyes that still left me breathless every time. "Then I laid down next to you and I could imagine waking up next to you for the rest of my life." She admitted.

I was speechless. I finally moved back towards a chair to keep myself from kissing her.

I heard her move the covers back. "Eddard, come sleep." She said softly and I jerked around to see her sincerity. "You won't get any sleep in that horrible wooden chair." She said finally.

"It wouldn't be right." I told her.

She looked at me blankly. "Get on the other side of Aegon so he doesn't fall out of the bed if the ship rocks during the night." She said simply. I nodded before going to the other side of the bed as she crawled in and pulled Jon into her arms. I laid awake after she had fallen asleep. Thinking about the fact that Ashara Dayne could imagine herself waking up next to me. I looked over at her beautiful sleeping form, and for a moment I imagined being home at Winterfell. With my whole family alive, safe, asleep in their beds and I could be laying in my, no, our bed next to her. She could be cuddling their baby in her arms and I could lean over and kiss them both. But even though I could see it, did not mean I would ever have any of it ever again. I knew it was wrong to even think of at this point, but I could not help myself. It was a beautiful dream

A raven came to the ship in a few weeks time with news that shook kingdoms. Rhaenys Targaryen was alive and in the care of her uncles who had been raising an army in her name. _Had _now they were force to honor Doran's words of peace if only to keep there nephew alive. She was crazy, bold, beautiful, and she just stopped the seven kingdoms from going back into war that had ravaged this land. She was beautiful the maiden with laughing eyes but nobody gave her enough credit for that brilliant mind of hers.


End file.
